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Random thoughts

I am sure that most people know that the Dollymops were cut from Dickens fair. I am upset about it, but it is the way it is with entertainment. I didn't think I'd be pissed off during workshops, but I am. I miss performing, I miss hanging out with friends. Mo is doing the show, but is coming home with stories of petty bullshit that seems to make me feel better about not doing it.

I am currently watching a debate on Illegal immigration. Every other person getting up to talk, keeps saying, "I am not a racist, but...." I've really lost my faith in human beings.

Just feeling all around icky today.

Time for change - Random thoughts

The last few weeks have been extremely difficult. I don't think I want to share a lot of it publicly. I need to grieve in my own way and by myself. I have been mostly uncommunicative in the last two weeks and I need to get it all out without perceived judgment. Most people have been wonderfully supportive and I have received many letters and phone calls of love and support. I am so very grateful for that. Some people have been remarkably inappropriate. Ah well. Some people's mothers didn't raise them right.

My mother and older sister have been unusually supportive. I think they know that this is very tough for me. My husband has been unusually clingy as well. I think he is feeling his mortality at the moment.

I feel like I need to wipe the slate clean in a lot of ways. I really am craving change. Mostly with myself and taking the initiative to do that which I need to do and that which I enjoy instead of constantly denying myself. I need to get on it today.

I have been obsessed with re-decorating my house lately. I have no money to do this, mind you. But I love to look at pictures and ideas. I need to feel beauty in my home, which is sorely lacking right now

Happy Birthday randy-rabbit

May you be showered with blessings today and may all of your fondest wishes come true.

Really interesting -

I do think overall there are more questions than answers about 9/11. But, this interview is an excellent example of the decline of good journalistic integrity. This reporter needs to re-think his career choice.


Feb. 5th, 2010

I feel like I want to melt away into nothing right now. Tired of being sick. Tired of having people in my life who make me feel like crap about myself
Just some random ramblings:

A few weeks ago I had my first tea reading, so far only one prediction has come true. My friend said I would feel increasing isolation and I would be wondering where my friends were. In all actuality, I have friends that call me everyday. It is all very subjective, because I am having really bad daily bouts with depression. I feel paranoid and left out, and I know I shouldn't feel that way.

I know I am doing the best I can, but I just can't forgive myself right now.

I make my yearly psychic predictions in January. My predictions for 2008 were spot on 8 out of ten came true. Last year, I only hit two of my 10 predictions on the nose. Unfortunately, this year I haven't had much time to write it down. But, I do have witnesses that I made this prediction on December 31st... (ask Carlos, Alejandra or Frieda)

1. Earthquakes, tons of them this year. The biggest will be in March.
2. Off the West coast of Northern Africa...meteor, comet...not really sure, I just see something falling from the sky
3. Palestine and Iran may join forces in November against Israel ( November?)
4. Serious price gauging on food will have Americans very angry and protesting
5. It will be revealed that scientist have found a clear link between pitocin, dilutents in vaccines, and autism. More American women will refuse it for delivery of their babies
6. So many conspiracy theorist will be proven right this year (new photos...Kennedy assasination) and more
7. There is going to be a HUGE change in the way we travel and transport goods. It is almost as if progress is actually going backwards. Railways become more important.
8. I keep seeing that insomnia will become epidemic, its as if the headlines are saying "nobody's sleeping" but it actually has to do with sound waves, or sonar experiments. People become confused, emotional, out of sorts.
9. Great strides for the cure in breast cancer. Female pre-natal babies treated in the womb
10. With the decline of the dollar, politicians will push for there to be a "dual" currency system in the US. A "North American" currency to be used in Canada U.S. and Mexico

Here are bonus predictions: Airline travel is going to get more and more restrictive, travel to Alaska and Hawaii more difficult. The Government will lie to the American people and say there are more terror plots and they want Americans to be more centralized in largely populated areas...I have no idea why

I don't see Castro living out the year

There are always assassination attempts on Presidents and Prime Ministers. This year will be full of them.

I am about to be an Aunt for the fifth time...YAY!! Little Piper should be here any day now. Yay!!!! ANd my aunt, who was a death's door over the holidays is on the mend. I wasn't ready to have her out of my life. The world still needs her artistic free spirit.

I had a dream about faire....I have to preface this by saying , I dream about it, often. I hope this was just a "reaction dream" and not a prediction. This dream really was dreamt by me and not listed here to "make a statement." Although I do think it might be a reflection of how I feel. I also dream about a haunted house a lot, but I digress..

The dream was sad. I was wearing an all red peasant costume. My friend Molly, who performed at faire years ago took my hand and lead me to the main stage. It seemed as if we were back in Agoura at the main stage, but it was shaped like an ampitheater. There were thousands of old performers there, all dressed in costume. I recognized all of them. And all of the performers dead or alive were there too. The Morris Dancers followed me in and walked down the center aisle with a coffin on their shoulders. They set it down on the stage and danced around it. Everyone started singing and dancing. Molly turned to me and said, "Well, this is it! The death of faire. It was magic while it lasted." People were emotional and teary eyed because we all knew it was the last day. A few actors I remember from long ago, came up to me and handed me a wooden whistle to put around my neck. One of them told me he loved me and then I blew the whistle strangely enough it sounded like a train whistle.

There is a lot of drama on facebook and tribe and the like. Sad days. I am sad that there are a lot of people in pain right now.

I've noticed a lot of "Slacktivism" as well. It kind of irritates me . People make a lot of post if you believe in this post this to your blog. That is all very fine and well, however I think people should follow that up with a donation, no matter how small, or giving blood, or being tested to see if you can donate bone marrow, or donating your time, or sending a card to a soldier, or calling your elected representatives, or helping out an elderly neighbor, or doing something, anything to make a difference.

The good and strange thing about depression is that is really gets my creative juices flowing. I think this is going to be a great Commedia show this year. As much as I kicked myself and tell myself that I am a failure, I have to also remind myself that have very often, in my life, I have created things out of nothing and that my imagination and creative drive have always been my greatest feature.

I am determined to lose weight this year. As much as I can. I am tired of being "the fat girl" I've decided this is the year of glamour. That reminds me...I need new makeup.

I have no idea what magic spell is on my husband. I'll never know what he sees in me, but, he puts up with all my ups and downs and I can't express how much I love him.

There you go...Roxanne has just been thrown all over you...Don't worry it comes out with Oxycleen

Just random thoughts

Everyday at least one of my friends on Facebook keeps publishing a small paragraph on their status up dates that reads:

"They may want to take Christ out of Christmas, but they can never take the Christ out of me! If you are proud to be a Christian and not ashamed to show it then post this as your status for one day as a light to the world. Most people are too scared or ashamed to do this. Let us remember what CHRIST-MAS is all about too!"

Now , I am a Christian. I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say it. However, this little paragraph saddened me. Mostly because, I think that majority of the people who have been posting this really don't know Jesus. Because the same people posting this have been posting their intolerance the rest of the year. I am not claiming to be a perfect Christian, sometimes I am a lousy at it. But I do know this:

If you are not doing everything you can to help save the lives of Americans ...you are no patriot

If you are not encouraging competition in the marketplace...you are no capitalist

and, if you are not doing everything in your power to help the sick and the poor...you are no Christian

Jesus was a Midlle Eastern Jewish man, who preached pacifism, ate with taxpayers, whores and lepers, was against the death penalty, was in essence a socialist. His was philosophy, based in compassion, equality,
inclusion, forgiveness, tolerance, peace and - most importantly - love.
Powerful Prayer
This prayer is said for 3 days, but in desperate need it can be said once and published immediately!

O loving Jesus, meek Lamb of God, I am a miserable sinner, salute and worship the most sacred wound of Thy shoulder, on which Thou did bear Thy heavy cross, which torn Thy flesh and lay bare Thy bones as to inflict an anguish greater than any other wound Thy most blessed body. I adore Thee, O Jesus most sorrowful, I praise and glorify Thee, and give thanks fully to Thee for the most holy and sacred and painful wound. Beseeching Thee by that exceeding pain, and by the crushing burden of Thy heavy cross to be merciful to me on towards heaven along the way of Thy cross. In Jesus' name (state request) Amen to all.

*** This powerful prayer must be said for requests and help. After you have said it, ask for requests, then you must publish it right away for request to be

Just Have Faith in God and the Lord Jesus Christ

Oct. 20th, 2009

 Haven't posted for a while.  But, I am making a New Year's resolution early this year.  

I have a lot to say , but it isn't something I can do with any decorum.