I have a lot to say , but it isn't something I can do with any decorum.
Premiering this weekend at the Northern California Renaissance Faire
12:15 and 2:15 at the Royal Garden Main Stage
www.norcalrenfaire.com
Also SERENATA will be performing their gorgeous music, at 4:15 at the Royal Garden Main Stage. Come pick up a copy of our CD
1. The modern convenience of having ice at the ready in my own kitchen
2. My loving and wonderful friends
3. Abundant riches
4. learning to see things from the other side
5. Clean air
Cainer: Sagittarius
Your Week Ahead: The ongoing conjunction of Jupiter and Neptune, in triple alignment with Chiron marks a departure point. You can set off at any moment but it may not happen this week. It's as if you are at a station, waiting for a delayed train. You need to stay near that platform and you mustn't give up hope that your ride is coming. In times to come, you will look back on this time and say, 'This was when something changed for me. It was the time when a penny dropped, a mystery cleared itself up, a decision was reached or a brand new vision presented itself.' Right now, you just feel pressure. Even so, something good is happening.
Your Week Ahead Part Two: Can you do it? That, actually, is the wrong question. A more relevant one is 'Do you really, really want to?' Where there's a will, there's a way. You will need, though, a strong will if you are to find a way forward now. If you suffer a loss of confidence, it will be easy to see your situation as impossible. You may grow aware of a resentment or a reason to feel restricted. It's all very well for your astrologer to say 'just ignore all that', but in practice, the advice won't be easy to take. If, though, you do just resolutely focus on your desire yet remain willing to wait for the right moment, you will arrive at it eventually.
Brezny:
If at some future time you sell your life story to a filmmaker who makes it into a feature film, it may have a lot to do with adventures that kick into high gear in the coming weeks. The fun will start (I hope) when you decide not to merely lie back and be victimized by your signature pain any longer. This brave act will recalibrate the cosmic scales and shift the currents of destiny that flow through you. Soon you will be making progress in untangling a mystery that has eluded your insight for a long time. You will be able to uncover the guarded secrets of a source that has for some time been tweaking your personal power without your full awareness.
for once they are in agreement. :)
Tarot card of the day - The Empress
The Empress personifies the inexhaustible power of nature with which she continues to bring forth new life. She therefore represents liveliness, fertility, growth and the birth of something new. She is the infinite source of all life which expresses our creative potential and our ability to absorb impulses and let something new arise through them. This means growth and fertility on the physical level, artistic creativity on the psychological level, imagination and ingenuity on the level of the intellect, and an increase in perception on the level of consciousness. The continual birth of the new means the constant transformation of our life, as well as the necessity to bear the pain of these births.
- Mood:
contemplative
But then...
I got an unexpected phone call from a friend that really saved my life last night. It wasn't the solution to everything, but he gave me the help I needed to get over some serious hurdles. He was full of love and compassion and generosity. My cup runneth over and for the first time in months I was able to sleep through the night.
BTW - yesterday was the ninth day of my novena ... Thank you Jesus, Thank you God, Thank you Holy Mother, Thank you St. Therese
http://www.sttherese.com/
Novena Prayer to St. Therese of the Child Jesus
O Little Thérèse of the Child Jesus,
please pick for me a rose from the heavenly garden
and send it to me as a message of love.
O Little Flower of Jesus, ask God, today, to grant
the favors I now place with confidence in your hands.
Tell Him I will love Him each day more and more.
St. Thérèse, help me to always believe, as you did,
in God's great love for me, so that I might imitate
your "Little Way" each day. Amen.
(Say 24 "Glory be" prayer below... between the "Glory be", say,
"St. Therese of the Child Jesus, pray for us.")
Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.
Most Blessed Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
I ask you thru the merits of St. Therese of the Child Jesus,
during the 24 years of her earthly life,
to obtain for me thru her intercession the grace (mention your request)
I need your help. I need to raise some emergency cash very quickly. So with much sorrow, I am looking to sell an antique chair that I own, or use it as collateral for a loan.
This is a very special chair. It is medieval...not a replica. The story is that my father's voice teacher was a German national who was in Berlin during the May Day invasion in 1945. The chair was one of the last remaining artifacts from a 14th century mediaeval church that had been bombed. She salvaged it and a few other artifacts. She passed and left everything to my father. My father passed and left it to me.
I has never been stripped, or refinished, it has the original patina. Of course there are some scratches. It is remarkably sturdy. There are no nails in it. It has a beautiful tree of life carving on the backboard.
I am offering it to all of my friends that I know are historical enthusiast. Please pm me if interested. I need to raise funds ASAP, so a quick response is needed. And yes, I have tried many an auction house.
Thanks,
Roxanne
I believe in the law of attraction, I know it is important to have positive happy thoughts all the time so that you will attract the good things to you. However it is a real struggle because I suffer from real depression and have no health insurance . So, it is very difficult to keep good thoughts in my head, sometimes. I have, over the last few months been struggling more and more with feelings of being isolated and feeling like no one is communicating with me. I haven't shared some really scary problems that I am having right now with anyone because I don't feel like anyone has the time for me. I can't blame them, I get sick of me too, sometimes. I recently was betrayed badly and am very hurt. And I think the problem is far worse than I have been lead to believe.
Well all those thoughts have manifested themselves into reality. I have had important mail and correspondence get lost or never received. Which has now really hurt someone I care about. Important emails are missing. My cell phone died a horrible death and the SIM card is not reading correctly. On Monday, the city sent out notices that water and electricity will be randomly shut off during the week for maintenance. So, no email, no tv, no radio, no phone. Then the house across the street has had the road blocked off for an earthquake retrofit. So, I have to change my train of thought and get out of this funk. I just don't know how. My mother always said to me, "this crap only happens to you, Roxanne." A statement which makes the added assumption that I am exaggerating or lying. It just isn't true.
I feel like muddy water is constantly being poured over my head and I can't see where to go.
So I keep dreaming about the town I grew up in. La Crescenta is just a few miles outside of Glendale California. It is on the side of a mountain and it has a lot of craftsman style homes built with a lot of stone work. tiered gardens. lots of pine trees. I dreamt of our old house on Mayfield. It had a large basement/cellar that was used as our laundry room. It also had a large crawl space. I dreamt that my mother had left things there and that they were stored in the basement. I was looking through them and I was finding thing that I needed and had been missing all of these years. I thought they had been thrown out . The basement was a mess and I could barely get through the piles of stuff. I then found myself at my old school, it had changed a lot and it was busy with activity. The school had rented out rooms for trade schools at night. There were students there for culinary school that night. I then was wearing a black jacket that I kept pulling chocolate bars and 20 dollar bills out of the pocket.
I have no idea what these mean yet. I'll have to mediate on it
2. Spending time with lovely people and really joyful children this weekend
3. Having an audience really enjoy our work
4. Mo is so loving and supportive. I am a lucky girl
5. Painful separations and moving on. Sometimes it really is for the best.
Sagittarius, Thursday, 25 June 2009
You are wrestling with a question that cannot be answered. That is like trying to fight an opponent who cannot be beaten. What on earth is the point? You feel that you cannot just 'do nothing'. You have to do your best. Of course you do. But doing your best involves recognising the reality of a situation. You can't fight an unbeatable enemy but you can avoid, escape or ignore the antagonist. Likewise, with regard to the question, you can leave it unanswered. Let it go. You don't need to know what you think you need to know.
A guy I barely know critiqued me at a party recently. "You haven't suffered enough to feel intense passion," he said. "Your life has been too happy, too easy." I didn't want to get into a debate about whether my life has been too happy and easy, so in my reply I didn't mention my divorce or the time I was shot or the grueling poverty I endured for 18 years. "So you're saying," I told him, "that suffering is the only way you can acquire passion? I don't agree. Have you ever raised a child? Have you ever been in love with someone who incited you to make radical changes in your life? Have you ever worked on a creation for many years and then submitted it to be judged by thousands of people? I have." I'm letting you know about this, Sagittarius, because I predict you'll soon be offered an experience like those I named -- adventures that have the potential to build intense passion without requiring you to suffer.
ACE OF SWORDS
This positive card represents the principle of higher reason. It shows that you are infused with the power of perspective that leads to clarity, lucidity and resolution. Your mind is affected in an illuminated clearing and freeing manner. You are able to analyze problems without losing perspective of the whole picture.
Saint of the day - John the Baptist
Patron saint of converts, baptism, epileptics, visionariesYesterday, I did something I haven't done in many years. I completely lost my temper at someone. I have complete regret that I did this. But, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Didn't sleep all night. It is 7:50 in the morning and I am still just as angry.
I wish this would pass
- Mood:
anxious
Students in Toronto have launched the first attack in what plans to be the first serious Cyber war. They are all resting their twitter accounts to Tehran time, so that the government in Iran cannot tell which twitter messages are coming out of, or going into Iran.
The revolution may not be televised, but it will be twittered
- Mood:
hopeful
2. finding thing that I thought were lost
3. a really good rehearsal and some small breakthroughs last night
4. A shining example of courage
5. early morning silliness
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of June 18, 2009
Metaphorically speaking, Sagittarius, you have unearthed or are about to unearth a rare fossil. I think it's a pretty sensational discovery. It's a missing link that could help you make sense out of episodes in your past that have always mystified or frustrated you. I urge you to learn all you can about this fossil. Follow every lead it points to. And ask your intuition to run wild and free as it dreams up possible interpretations to its multiple meanings.
We would treat time very differently if we had an infinite supply of it. Who would want to watch a movie that is only two hours long, if they were trying to amuse themselves for all of eternity? And why take a couple of weeks' holiday when we could take a couple of thousand years? In the back of your mind, you are always conscious that nothing lasts forever. Some processes in your world, though, have been dragging on for far too long. As you don't have countless centuries at your disposal, you ought to hurry them up.
8 of Wands
An even of some kind is diectly at hand. Somethin in the air will happen more quickly than expected, even if it goes unnoticed. This refers to a busy and hopeful situation with things moving quickly. This card usually portends joyful experiences, showing that good news or occurrences are on their way.
This card, the wheel of the fortune and the fool , keep coming up in every reading I have this week...hmmmm
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2. "Shabby Chic" is code for; old and scuffed up
3. Everyone will eventually try to sell their old computer desks and leather sofas, and then when that fails they will post them in the free section
4. Ocasionally someone doesn't recognize the treasure they really have
5. There are a lot of really lonely angry, and barely literate people out there
6. We all have a lot more stuff than what we really need
Sometimes , I don't think it is possible to completely forget your past. For the last few weeks i have been haunted by bad dreams, the kind that make you forget where you are, and I keep waking up in tears. It usually puts me in a terrible sinking mood for a few day and colors all of my daily experiences with it.
A few years ago, I was living in North Hollywood, I was managing a costume store for the previous five years, and I had just started doing work on a tv show occasionally. I was single at the time and things were always tight financially, so I didn't have a whole lot in savings. Then all of a sudden the rug was pulled out from under me. The owner of the costume shop fired everyone, in a fit of frenzy, because I had been severely injured on the job, due to his negligence. When I went in to claim workman's comp, I found out he had not really paid into Workman's comp, Social security, taxes, or any of the other deductions. Of course I took him to court, but he has yet to pay what he owes me.
Then I got the notice that my crappy apartment was being turned in to a condo and that I had thirty days to buy or move out. I had spent the majority of my savings on legal fees and had to pay for all of my medical expenses. So I had no place to go.
I floated for more than year from couch to couch, looking for work and a place to live. It was one of the hardest years of my life. I was severely depressed and I felt less than a human being. I angered all of my friends and relatives, I was a burden to everyone. It became clear that no one wanted me around, and I could hear all of the horrible things being said about me, I became depressed and suicidal. I lost my car. It isn't that I didn't want to go to work, in fact I worked every chance I got. I often got up at 4:30 to catch the trains to go to work. I went on hundreds of interviews.
The worst was the utter disdain people had for me. A good friend even told me that I was nothing but trash and clearly beneath him. I overheard on person say at a BBQ, "I wish she would have a car accident on the way home and just die." Sometimes I didn't have enough money to eat, I definitely had no money to see a doctor, and during this time I contracted pneumonia and almost died. My family made it clear that they were too busy with their own lives to help.
I am actually crying as I am writing this, because I am full of shame, regret and sorrow. I just think I need to talk about it because I am tired of dreaming that I am still there.
I see homeless people and I understand them and the pain that they are going through. I know what it is like to have no one that will look you in the eye, or talk to you like a human being. If a homeless person wasn't mentally ill when they got there, they soon will be. It is hard to keep it together when you have nothing but feelings of isolation and despair.
Most people in America are two paychecks or one medical disaster away from homelessness. I didn't get that way by being stupid, or lazy, or a morally corrupt person. But, that is how I was treated by some. I have a friend, whom I love, but she make me cringe sometimes, because she is a snob. She looks her nose down at others and judges herself morally superior. It hurts me deeply every time she makes comments about others. And it make me feel ashamed and paranoid.
I am often paranoid, I often looks for the disdain behind the kindness. My instincts are well-honed now.
I know that I am in a loving relationship now, and I live in a nice place. But, we struggle and sometimes can't make ends meet and it frightens me to the core.
- Mood:
depressed
2. For reasonable sane people in my life
3. creativity
4. nice weather, and time for a nap at the park
5. grocery coupons
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of May 28, 2009
"Wisdom is knowing I am nothing," said Indian philosopher Nisargadatta Maharaj. "Love is knowing I am everything. And between the two my life moves." According to my calculations, Sagittarius, you'll be more on the "knowing you are everything" side of the polarity for the next few weeks. That's because a flood is imminent. I expect you'll be on the receiving end of a massive outreach from the universe -- an influx of invitations, inquiries, and offers to make connection. You should also be prepared for the dizzying pleasure that comes from seeing how profoundly interlinked and interdependent you are.
We spoke, yesterday, about aliens from another world. I wasn't seriously suggesting that you are about to have a close encounter with a UFO. I just wanted to point out that the world is wider than we tend to imagine and it has room within it for many points of view. Beware, this weekend, a tendency to overcomplicate a simple situation. Do as much as you need to, but don't somehow convince yourself that no matter how much you do it will never be enough. If you feel as if you are living on a different planet to someone else, focus on your own world.
The Queen of pentacles embodies the feminine side of the earth element and stands for steadfastness, good humor, reliability, closeness to reality, diigence, fertility, heart and sensory pleasures. You are entering a secure time where you will reap the fruits of your labor, acquiring wisdom through experience, and excercizing material prudence.
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1. Random silliness
2. Radio interviews
3. The creative spark
4. Clean kitchen
5. Being surrounded by funny and creative people
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of May 14, 2009
I'm not necessarily saying you fell into a hole a while back, but if you did, the time is right to extricate yourself. Your strength is returning and help is in the neighborhood. Likewise, I'm not making an authoritative pronouncement that you did indeed cast a little curse on yourself during a careless moment. But if something like that did occur, you're entering an excellent phase to undo the mistake. You're awakening to how you went awry, and that's the first crucial step in correcting for the messy consequences.
Never apologise, never explain.' This, once upon a time, was the motto of many people in positions of authority. If you asked them why or suggested that somehow it was irresponsible to be so imperious, they would simply refuse to apologise or explain! As you now find yourself needing to implement a difficult decision, you could do with taking a leaf out of this book. The more questions you entertain, the more you will doubt yourself, quite unnecessarily. Yet you ought now to stick with what you have started.
- Mood:
aggravated
2. My Cousin finally agreeing to go into cancer treatment
3. The best guild evah!!!
4. My education, which has pulled my ass out of the fire many times, and given me real choices
5. Life skills I have picked up along the way
The magician
The Magician is the master of his own destiny and unafraid to act as he chooses. By setting specific and attainable goals, the Magician utilizes his great knowledge and wisdom to succeed where others have failed. He is the master of his own destiny. Although, with such power comes great responsibility. The Magician must decide whether to act morally, or forsake ethics for personal gain.
Sagittarius Horoscope for week of May 7, 2009
I encourage you to attempt a difficult feat: For a few days, dissolve every burst of anger that rises up in you. Squash it. Wrestle it into submission. Attack it with love bombs. If you can eradicate the fury at its source, never even letting it ripen, that would be best. But the most important thing is to use all your ingenuity to keep your hostility, irritation, and snark from reaching the surface and spilling out. And why should you try this seemingly impossible experiment? Because according to my analysis of the omens, it would bring unexpected improvements in your physical and mental health.
Sagittarius, Thursday, 7 May 2009
There is no such thing as the best thing to do. Or, for that matter, the worst thing. That doesn't stop us, though, from continually aspiring to the former and living in fear of the latter. We think we know what's best and we base that on our experience of what has been good in the past. But we only did what we did. We didn't do what we didn't do. So, how can we say whether it would have been better if only we hadn't done it. On the basis of 'not very much' you are trying to decide an awful lot. Where you are not sure, be brave enough to say so.
Subversive quotes of the day:
Malcom Forbes (1919-1990)
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